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GALLIVANT
The idea is to document the coast, through the eyes of real people (Gladys, Eden and Andrew), through meetings with genuine coastal residents (the interviewees), and through the places visited (coast towns and paths, ports, estuaries, and marshes). The film technique will allow the documentary nature of the project to be subverted by a strong editorial input from the film-maker. This will be achieved by the use of post-production techniques (transposition of voices, additional VO, sound effects etc) but also by cultivating the strangeness of the real people encountered, so that the authenticity of interview statements may be called into question (are they genuine, set up, scripted or improvised around a theme?). Thus the viewer will have to confront their own assumptions about the way things are, rather than simply take on board the point of view of the film.
The film is therefore a snapshot of Britain today (complete with its past, which is part of today), and like a snapshot it may contain apparently irrelevant or unstructured elements; the background figure who wanders into the frame of a family group on the beach, may not be deliberately included, but their puzzled stare into the lens may transform and enhance the overall result. (Film unlike factory processed Snappy Snaps has a post-production period that allows subsequent manipulation of both sound and image).
The social and political perspective offered by Gladys and others in the film will be included but not melded into a consistent point of view. In this sense the film aims to be pre-political, to offer an undigested (if well constructed) view that can be seen and interpreted in different ways. Its strength will lie in the vividness and humour of outlook, careful thematic development, and the power of the basic device of seeing things through the eyes of two such different family members as Gladys and Eden.
To achieve all this demands something special from the film-maker, and plays on some of Andrew Kötting’s particular strengths. In the first place he combines a great curiosity with the ability to quickly gain the confidence of people, so he can elicit the personal and eccentric without apparent difficulty. His aesthetic sense involves a fundamental appreciation of things as they are (not just as they might be) a keen eye for the telling detail, and a celebratory zeal for the out-of-the-ordinary. This will be an idiosyncratic view, a view (literally) from the margins which will welcome the marginal; and it will be an affectionate view, with little room for sneering and as much self-mockery as mockery. The picture that emerges will be as much about the three main characters as about the country itself; memory and hope, pleasure and fear, tradition and prediction - discovery, self-discovery and revelation.
This film journey cannot by its nature be fully scripted in the conventional sense. Serendipity and chance encounter will play their part. The following document is therefore not a script as such, rather a guide to the themes, moods and modus operandi of the filming, plus a taste of some of the encounters which development research has lead us into - contacts that will be remade for the film itself.
Different filming techniques will be afoot, including two basic formats: super 8 and 35mm. The 35mm with sound sync will be used for interviews, conversations and statements from specifically chosen oddballs and individuals, whereas either format will be freely used for the landscapes, people and places encountered along the way. In the case of Eden and Gladys the two basic formats will be used where appropriate. Voice over and other sound bites will be employed extensively throughout.
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Several structures run through the film. Ostensibly (and actually) it is a gallivant around the coast of Britain. This will be signposted in the pre-title sequence in which a TV weatherman (50’s or 60’s television archive, and not the hi-tech nonlinear world of the nineties) will mark out the coastline with a pointer while a know-it-all voice-over academic will expound on the nature of the woad-covered island race and things historically British. Throughout the film, and to accentuate where we might be, we will return to this image of the Man and his Pointy Stick.
PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE
MAN WITH POINTY STICK
A neck of marshy land was flooded by sea and Britain became an island. We put the fear of god into some of the invaders by covering ourselves in blue woad, tattoos and the like never seen before. Hence the name Brittani which is latin for something but moreover Pretani which in Celtic means painted or tattooed. It was round here that it all began... all round here... it takes you right back to when things are a lot clearer now.
Occasionally moderate, good, poor, veering south-easterly... it really hasn’t looked like clouding over for quite a while... so many places to visit, an open sesame to this world of fun. The beauty of the sea and beaches... well, they take your breath away. Fresh air and exercise doing you a world of good, an experience to always remember you wouldn’t believe it if you hadn’t seen it with your own eyes and to see the little children as happy as this... well it’s a holiday in itself, a treasure house of memories and the time of their lives... all the highlights will be recorded by a photographer... pictures to take home as small gifts or souvenirs.
These people lived where they could all round here, and on this sticky out bit, inland as well. One thing the experts are all agreed on and that’s a good trip. As you can see this is a map of everyday lives and it is round here, all round here, that Britain lives. You can see how they build their homes, cook their food, dress up, squabble, travel, work and generally enjoy thembloodyselves, nevertheless difficulties at times, good, rising more slowly, mist, automatic haze and overturned lorries... The foreshore, it’s safety and it’s hazards; this journey follows the entire coastline of England, Scotland and Wales, a zig-zagging 6,000 mile route packed full of contrasts and whatnots fairly full to overflowing... The face of the land will change like the faeces of the people... look at the one I’m making now. Sea birds will weal over towering cliffs and lighthouse men will keep keeping lonely vigil. Our journey takes in the world as an oyster and, like hot sand, will help us see through new spectacles and a different kettle of fish.
The two most important things in travelling which cannot be expressed too much are length and direction, so lets take a look at what’s been going on... It’s the peifect holiday for the very young and the not so young; your surroundings are gay by day and delightful at night, you ‘Il get to meet eversuchalot of interesting people becoming better with increasing at times moderate with occasional learning djfficulties... So there you are, that’s what we’re offering you - picturesque scenery as a background and absolutely unequalled entertainment as well as areas of outstanding natural beauty thrown in for good measure, oooh when they get home again they’ll have such tales to tell... anyway, are you ready, let’s get on...
(Some such dialogue will go to make up the pre-title sequence, complete with archive footage of man, pointy stick and weather map of Britain, but also ancient beach-huts, things seasidey and fleeting, grainy black & white images of Eden and Gladys. The weatherman will appear throughout and will serve if necessary as a means of linking sequences together and letting us know where we are).
GALLIVANT
Story
On screen we see Eden, a well travelled six year old, rocking and fiddling with her hands. Behind her a brass band is playing and old people shakily meander around. We are outside the De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill on Sea.
Gladys wanders into frame and reminisces about Mrs Salmon who ran the campsite, where she took her 5 grandchildren on holidays.
We see shots of the ramshackle campsite as well as some of its residents, and Eden, who meets a lady who introduces herself as Mrs Salmon. She’s wearing shorts and wellington boots with rubber gloves and a mop. Of course, she says, while you’re staying here you must see the sharks and manta rays down at Eastbourne... the gallivant is under way.
After the belligerent and venomous fish we get to see footage of the Bottle-kicking and Hare Pie Scramble Festival along the South Downs. William Howley, deckchair attendant, sits in his garden shed in a deckchair and tells us about how long he has been doing the job. He also tells us about Burling Gap and points out that there are glorious views of the Seven Sisters (white- faced daughters of the South Downs) just off the B259. He mentions that a friend of his works with the handicaps.
Norman’s Bay, bowling greens, milk floats and the Dicing for Bibles ceremony at Burling Gap.
GLADYS (84, and not afraid to go on about it) has never left Britain. The coast marks the geographical limit of her world, and we meet her at the beginning describing remembered trips to Bexhill on Sea and the De La Warr Pavilion and anticipating the journey that lies ahead. Her diction is idiosyncratic and her syntax eccentric.
GLADYS (voice over and sound sync)
I’ll pray up and lets hope it’s a fine day... We went on holiday to keep the children occupied we promised them… and I’m here cos some of me earliest memories of his seaside are here… he used to think he was standing on the edge of the world sort of thing... and if I remember cretly it was here at the age of nine that Albert rolled him his first ciggy... he took out is makings and rolled im a ciggy. Couldn’t have been older than 8 sort of thing and if wishes were orses then beggars would ride.., and here’s something else you don’t know, if you spoke the truth, the younger generation would never believe what you was telling them because they would think that you was lying... an ere’s something else, we was just up the road with the Salmon’s at Little Common on the site where we always took them caravanning holidays. Any odds, we better get along cos there’s a long road ahead of us...
BOTTLE-KICKING PARTICIPANT
….my grandfather taught me all about how in the olden days, long before we had plastic, people used to come from all round these parts…
GLADYS We used to come down here with the blanket, build a fire and that was their day out... and nobody has seen as much as I have.., in this country at any rate.
While Gladys was obviously born in the Victorian age, Eden is a child of today. It
becomes clear that she (in direct contrast to Gladys who can barely stop) cannot speak, except through signing.
We follow the South coast past Goonhilly Downs Centre for Communication where we are given a guided tour and told about being able to contact the other side of the world. Eden is fascinated by the noises and lights, meanwhile Gladys is unimpressed, On to Land’s End (we never went to Land’s End says Gladys, but we do).
Eden and Gladys sit in front of the Long
Man of Wilmington as clouds zoom overhead and the sun crosses the sky.
Return to archive footage including man with map and pointy stick.
The journey continues. Bill Henthorn is the arms of the St Agnes Bolster Man. Every year he re-enacts the story of the giant who used to come down from Chappelporth looking for a maiden, however, all of the girls in the village were too ugly, and therefore he hurled rocks at the villagers, creating chaos...
Super 8 footage of the Padstowe Hobby Horse festival, Mrs Munroe in her bungalow, who tells us that she has been the front end of the horse for the last 15 years.
Hartland Point. We come across a lifeboatman who sits with his feet up and a mug of tea in his lounge, splendid in his luminous lifejacket. Golfing customs at Weston-super-mare, and graveside doles at Port Talbot. Factory workers, fishermen, milkmen and arsonists.
EDEN
(Through the use of Makaton, a simple sign language developed specifically for children with learning difficulties, we gain access to Eden’s world, we get to know, for example, whether things are big, small, green, blue, hot, cold, tired, hungry, good or even bad etc. She also vocalises in a very limited way, often sounding like gobbledygook. However, over her image we will start to hear snippets of numerous voices culled from various conversations along the way, which we will start to recognise as Eden’s memories, impressions and even premonitions of the trip - these voices will come to express some of Eden’s own opinions and reactions).
GLADYS
We never went to land’s End. We used to take them pony trekking instead...
MAN W1TH POINTY STICK
Today we find ourselves in very attractive surroundings... and these youngsters can
certainly keep their ends up... backing increasing
five to seven, occasional rain and telling of new experiences... The
north Cornish coast
BILL HENTHORN
It gets pretty hot inside that giant, but when the weather’s good it’s worth every minute... better than that bleeding ‘obby ‘oss...
EDEN (signing to Gladys)
Big man.., big hands... horse... hot
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LIFEBOATMAN
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve been out... rescuing...
Eden teaches us Makaton (a simple sign language) for ice-cream. Gladys is very proud of Eden, her great-granddaughter.
We follow the Welsh coast, taking in Milford Haven, Cardigan Bay and Liandudno, then a strange film-maker in a Liverpool tattooist’s. I can do you anything you want, pierce yer eyebrow, do yer bellybutton, or even a Prince Albert... guiches are popular... It weren‘t that long ago I used to get through half a pint of ink a month.
More places and encounters, including Calder Hall, Wynscale, Sellafield -nuclear reprocessing plants, where we have a guided tour. At the Crabapple and Gurning Fair in Whitehaven collapsed faces fight it out for the prizes. George Fernbar sits with his racing pigeons, dentures in his hand.
Gladys lets slip that she’s not
totally happy - the demands of the journey, the food, the weather and
the accommodation, not to mention little Eden. Hornblowing Fair (N.
Yorks), Jack Cooper and his dog kennels, William Jones the Postman, charity shops, and the Spastics Society. (Scope).
A vicar, echoing, in an empty village hall, all musty with a bible balanced on his head. A film-maker cuddles a prostitute in a massage parlour. Afterwards the prostitute, in frock and anorak on the esplanade, gives advice to the younger generation. Eden teaches us Makaton for bed, tired and sleep.
EDEN
Big, granny... ice cream.
GLADYS
If I knew half of the lot of what you’re talking about you ‘d be twice as clever as me... they could run you up the flagpole outside the palace and that still wouldn’t be good enough. Trouble is I’m too old to learn the dog a trick or two, and that’s for straight up...
Bin pulling soddin faces nigh on twenty five year, first time they ‘ye ever given me bleedin prize...
GLADYS (eating fish & chips)
He thinks you got big man’s shoes on sort of thing and you’ve got such tiny feet... does he really expect us to keep traipsing all over the sodding place just to keep him happy... silly sod … ere are, put it in the little blind girl with callipers cos it’s for the blind. . . charity starts at home... All these factories and wotnot, we didn’t have half the dilution of the air when I was a girl.., even the railways ran on smoke...
The Highlands and Western Isles. Prechristian burial sites. In front of some standing stones a man in a kilt, struggling with a roughly trimmed tree-trunk explains the principles of tossing a caber and the Highland Games.
The bleakness and isolation of the coastline makes us more and more aware of the anomaly of Gladys and Eden’s presence. Gladys makes a reference to him, the filmmaker, and his couldn‘tcareless attitude. Cape Wrath, the northernmost point of the coastline; wild sea crashes against barren rocks, filmed over 24 hours in glorious timelapse colour.
THE TALKING CORACLE OF OBAN
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……
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WHUPPITY STOURIE
Areye talkinta me Jamie? Ah’ bin tossing these trees around fa most of ma life d‘ya ken... an it get’s no fuckin easier let me tell you‘se both...
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The relationship between Eden, Gladys and the film-maker will only gradually be revealed, and we will endeavour to build up a sense of mystery and suspense around his enigmatic appearances. He may by this time have appeared in a number of guises; for instance as a manic and shivering figure struggling from the sea to cross in front of Gladys and Eden... (GLADYS: Stupid bugger! EDEN, signing, Big... Man... Friend...)
The various interviews will start to communicate specific themes and preoccupations that people share: Britain as an island, them and us, the olden days (times past), food and the weather, areas of outstanding natural beauty, allotments and UFOs etc. While our progress may be occasionally marked out by the man with the pointy stick, it will also be mapped by the constantly changing dialects on our way round the coast.
The soundtrack will include a complex multi-layered assortment of samples and soundbites culled from the likes of Morris Dance music, country fair music, ice cream vans, barrel organs, bagpipes, Welsh nose-flutes and a motley collection of aural flotsam and jetsam picked up on the way, like little dogs’ droppings on the heel of your shoe.
*A Gamekeeper stands in a newly planted forest holding large antlers.
A Trusthouse Forte hotel manager stands on St Andrews Golf Course. Holding a silver serving dish and dodging the flying balls, he bemoans the Japanese invasion. A sequence of super 8 images including Blessing the Seas ceremony, Bottling-kicking and Hare Pie scramble as well as the Burry Man. Eden’s nose is running and, despite Wynciette tights, Gladys goes on about the cold and being so far from home.
Archive footage, Man with pointy stick.
Edinburgh. Isobel Ryntoul, a lollipop lady, reads us a story from a local newspaper which has tickled her fancy (35mm sync). In her front room, she is in uniform, complete with STOP CHILDREN CROSSING stick:
Annie, in her guest house in Aberdeen, sits between Gladys and Eden with bagpipes on her lap; she offers free tuition to all her guests.
Elephant Rock, a stack just South of Arbroath, we listen to a fisherman talking about how he caught a dead Elephant in his nets 32 miles offshore in early April 1982.
SOUNDTRACK
Away birds, away
Away birds, away
I’ll up wi me clackers
An knock yer down backards
Away birds, away...
GAMEKEEPER
The trees encountered on a country stroll reveal a lot about a country‘s soul... A culture is no better than its country‘s woods... so be careful not to bark up the wrong tree.
GLADYS
Look at him, what a cheek, dragging us all the way up here, and e wouldn‘t even give you the droppings off of the end of his nose.
MAN WITH POINTY STICK
After centuries of rule by a benevolent and selfless government this proud and sceptred people are at a peak of intellectual, artistic and political achievement... Great Britain - a noble and despotic island, but is it fraying round the edges? You might ask. For the answer we must continue our journey round the seaside towns and coastal byways.
Psychiatrist Oscar Walzberg, 45,shot dead a woman patient in his Aberdeen office as she told him about her sex life. “I couldn’t take those nutcases any more” he told the court, where he faced a 25year sentence.
GLADYS
I’ll never get the hang of it... Whatever you have to say I’m too old to listen.., besides, I’ve even forgotten how to forget. Like my pension, by the time it all comes out of it, there’s nothing left to go back into it.
At Berwick on Tweed Little Audrey serves us tea in a high street hotel, whilst a spiritualist convention goes on in the downstairs lounge.
We continue down the north-east coast, via danger areas, nature reserves and castles, many of them built to fend off the Scandinavian invasion or, more frequently, each other.
South Shields has the largest Yemeni population outside the Yemen. Twin brothers Harry and Billy have no running water, drink only Coca Cola and have an huge safe full of guns. They are builders festooned with popular culture.
Major Donald Entwistle, 64, gives us a potted military historical diatribe, surrounded by antique furniture and lead soldiers.
On past coastguards, lighthouses, village greens, ferries, fishing boats and amusement arcades to encounter the Superstitious Folk of Hull.
Gladys railing against the wayward grandson (the film-maker) who set the whole thing off in the first place, and Eden signing her own explanation. Both diverted by the characters encountered on the way:
milkmen, publicans, paperboys and papergirls, pastors and their parishioners and...
LITTLE AUDREY
I’ve never stolen anything, unlike the manager, the cash went straight into his pocket. Mind you, I’m going to win the lottery shortly. Never mind crossing your fingers, I’ve got my own system, only it’s secret so I can’t tell you.
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MAJOR DONALD ENTWISTLE
…which comes from the Celtic word Pretani, which meant painted or tattooed.., there’s something your grandchildren didn’t know... The sea side as a special place was itself a 19th century invention, and piers and pavilions were part of the story of the domestication of nature, and in particular the sea by the town... shipshape and Bristol fashion...
Hull’s fishing community shed some topical light on the state of superstition in Britain. Hull’s fishermen have claim to being the most superstitious people in Britain. For every itemised do, don’t, omen and harbinger they observe is a spine-chilling story of what it all means... (we get to hear some of the stories).
Joseph W. Charles, 82, retired in October 1992 from his job as the waving man in Whitby Bay, East Anglia. He stood in his front garden during the morning rush hour every day for the last 30 years and waved to motorists.
Through reminiscence or reference, one character passes us on to the next, Gladys and Eden appearing from time to time, helping us to make sense of the often nonsensicle. Gladys expresses ever more clearly her impatience with the whole trip, while Eden seems increasingly to be able to accommodate and almost control the vagaries of the journey. Sometimes it seems as if she is invoking the next character, preempting the next situation, almost as if we’re beginning to see everything through her eyes. This could be achieved by the linking of close-ups of Eden with sound excerpts that recall or predict the appearance of particular characters. We might, for example hear, over a close-up of Eden signing different colours, a neighbour describing Derek Jarman’s garden at Dungeness. Only later will we see the neighbour and the garden (with repeated sound, or continuation of the sound excerpt).
Guy Taplin, a sculptor from Brightlingsea sculpts out of flotsam and jetsam near the river Blackwater. He has a studio beach hut lined with driftwood and knows a lot of stories about the Tally Boys from Brightlingsea, as well as a bloke called Jim Barr whose garden is 4 foot higher than anybody else’s, because it is made of molehills.
As the journey nears its end (also its starting point) it becomes clear that the strange man we have seen appearing and reappearing at odd moments throughout is the wayward grandson, the father of Eden, the film-maker.
A coastguard sits in his cabin with binoculars, looking out to sea. Gladys and Eden sit next to him and Gladys remarks on the story of the man on a giant inflatable lobster who rescued a young girl drifting out to sea on a set of blow-up teeth. The coastguard at Dover launched two lifeboats, but the lobster reached the girl first.
MARGARET ROYTHORN (still grieving in a park at Southend on Sea, sitting next to Gladys)
Fynn, my little cairn terrier, was run over by one of them vacuum muck thingumyjigs... scooping poopers... ran across the cricket pitch and he was dead the next minute
GLADYS
Just like when we left Snowy tied to a waste paper bin in a layby down Axminster... took us an hour to realize he wasn‘t with us... when we went back for him he’s hardly moved, mind you, we kept im on a very tight leash... one leg at a time, that’s what I say.
JIM BARR
if you’re talking top quality, then you ‘11 never going to beat moles... best topsoil in the whole country... peat bogs included...
GLADYS (pointing at the spot on Hastings Beach where her grandson lost his virginity)
Ere are... this is the spot, just down there, by the flotsam and jissom, that’s where e reckons e lost it... Italian woman or some such nonsense sort of thing...
MAN WITH POINTY STICK
The grown ups have different ideas they like to watch in comfort... you will always find some people that say the water looks jolly cold... don‘t you believe it... it’s lovely once you‘re in... the excitement is intense.., and there’s one thing about the younger generation... at least they’re not shy to join in... all the confidence in the world... very attractive surroundings and these youngsters can certainly keep their ends up... backing increasing five to seven occasional rain and telling of new experiences...
John Seymour (The Good Life) wrote a book after visiting every single beach in Britain on a journey round the coast. However, we have found The AA Illustrated Guide to Britain’s Coast (out of print) an invaluable asset.
Only in the last sequence back at the De La Warr Pavilion do all three main protagonists (including now recognisable film-maker) appear together in 35mm sync and reminisce about their experiences, whether the distant or recent past, or even commenting on the film itself. So the McGuffin is that there’s no McGuffin - the seemingly spurious characters of Gladys and Eden are the people who first took Andrew to the seaside and have motivated his return - genuine characters playing themselves.
THE AA ILLUSTRATED GUIDE TO BRITAIN’S COAST (to Eden and Gladys)
…a playground of inexhaustible potential... few other countries possess a coast of such varied scenery and interest...
GLADYS
I like that bit when the lighthouse keeper said...
ANDREW
About the Chinese take-away?... you mean the rock-maker.
EDEN (signing)
Hungry. Papa. Home Please.
NB 1. Before the filming can commence we must produce 500 Gallivant Map Postcards, as well as 500 sticks of Seaside Rock with the word Gallivant running
down the middle. These will be left in our wake, as our own
contribution to the iconography of the seaside, but also used to
stimulate, reward and thank the various people we meet who agree to be
filmed and participate in the Gallivant.
NB 2. Should anyone we meet have their own home footage and be willing (eg Fred Wiseman of Ilfracombe with his 10 hours of 9.5mm about his allotment) we will be prepared and only too happy to view and maybe even incorporate snippets or relevant highlights in the final film.
FILM-MAKER WITH GLADYS AND EDEN
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It was my grandmother Gladys and her husband Albert that took me on my first trips to the seaside; camping or caravanning with a carload of bickering brothers and my sister. We would nearly always go to Bexhill on Sea. The Colonnade, the De La Warr Pavilion and the knickerbockerglory shops are full of memories and nostalgia. More recent return trips have enforced the power of these images which I’ve frequently filmed on super 8. The famous modernist landmark of the Pavilion is a powerful indicator of values for design and living that now seem to have been bypassed (or have they?). At the time of its construction in 1935 it must have stood out in stark contrast to the wooden beach huts, Victorian esplanades, bandstands and terraces which it rests on - buildings from the time of the discovery of the seaside as an amenity and leisure site. Now they merge into a homogenous past, overlaid with the plethora of later additions; fifties, sixties and seventies paraphernalia. Today Bexhill is full of old people and Help the Aged shops. The Pavilion is populated by the old, the timeless and the anachronistic. It belongs to the iconography of the seaside. Pensioners queuing for the “Spring Serenade “, grandchildren milling around waiting for Rod Hull and his Emu.
GALLIVANT
(an imaginary trip round the coast of Britain, or is it?)
Simply, this film is a record of an actual trip to be made around the coast of Britain. But of course it’s not that simple: the convolutions of the coastline are matched by the eccentricities of the people and places encountered, not to mention the idiosyncrasies of the camera operator and the lure of the apparently irrelevant. We will be alert to the deep heritage of the land, while our ears will be opened to the zeitgeist, the bombardment of sounds from a multicultural society set against relics from the past, surviving through the oral tradition. Folklore, festivals, customs, traditions and mysteries, as well as places of outstanding natural beauty and sites of historical interest will serve to feed our voracious appetite and rampant curiosity. The filming (on super 8 and 35mm) will be over a period of some months. The full gamut of post-production edit techniques will be used to produce an intense, visceral and absorbing odyssey and multi-layered narrative.
The film’s opening will show the principal characters, Gladys (84) and Eden (6) at the De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill on Sea. An elegiac mood (35mm “magic hour” photography) will establish the resonance of these images, layers of time and meaning that the film will characteristically exploit throughout. The personality of Gladys will quickly be established - a strong, opinionated anti-establishment voice, constantly butting in with anecdotes and reminiscences, frequently confusing and contradictory, occasionally mentioning the journey that lies ahead. Eden is her great-granddaughter and the recipient of her pearls of wisdom. Eden finds it very hard to speak but is able to answer back by using sign language, conveying her reactions, comments and needs. The film will follow the progress of these two on their coastal journey, an actual continuous trip round the outline of Britain made over three months, starting and finishing at Bexhill. In fact this continuity will be simulated - the film-maker and small crew will complete the actual itinerary, whereas Gladys and Eden will join them only for specific sections of the journey. The filming and post production techniques employed will ensure that, for the audience, the illusion of their constant presence will always be maintained.
The journey involves the full range of places that characterise the coast; cliffs, esplanades, beaches, docks, marshes, industrial hinterlands, piers, inlets and much more besides. Gladys and Eden will be filmed in all these settings, as well as in a variety of meetings with the eccentrics, wierdos and “normal people” who populate the coastal environs. When they are not actually present for the filming, interviewees will be invited to refer to them, speak as if to them, address them by name etc. Thus, with this filmed material and subsequent voice-over sound the impression of their presence will be kept alive.
Appendix
- Geology. The British geologist is extraordinarily fortunate. Within a very short distance he can find rocks of nearly all ages and types. Some with dead bodies underneath.
- Changing shape. Britain’s outline is forever changing. The Romans could not land today where they started their invasion because that point is no longer reached by the sea. It is not necessarily the Government’s fault. The Channel Tunnel is an umbilical chord.
- Weather Forecast. Anyone really intent upon making a journey must learn the coastal weather from a broadcast shipping forecast whether he is on a rocking boat or not.
- Sunshine and temperature. There are three climatic requirements; sunshine, rain and grey.
- Counties. The actual coastal strip may just be a thin area running round our country for some six thousand miles but the coastal problems affect the majority of our counties and states of mind.
- Lifeboats. They can save people’s lives.
- Coastguards. They can prevent smuggling and are very nice people.
- Lighthouses. They tell me the British coastline is better lit than any other comparable strip of coastline in the world, seen from the moon.
- Ferries. They can take you to the ends of the earth, but we will use them only to cross estuaries.
- Danger Areas. Shooting, blowing up or other hazardous activities may take place within marked areas. Eden and Gladys will try to gain access.
- Landings. The Scandinavian invasion is not included because it is too complex, but Eden will sign her own version.
- Castles. The coastline is rich in castles most of the medieval fighting in which British people were engaged was against other British people.
- National Trust. Deals in areas of outstanding natural beauty. They are so numerous that they can never be truly shown.
- Parks and paths. You may not know it but the countryside has been classified under one of various precise headings.
- Zoos and seals and crabs. An extraordinary number of British Zoos are at the seaside.
- Birds. There are lots of them, and we will try to film them in slow-motion.
- Nature Reserves. They are bewildering in their definition, sometimes in the nude.
- Museums and Art Galleries. These are very important bastions.
- Piers. Where else can you travel out to sea, see the waves beneath you and feel a sailor but still be firmly attached to the good dry land.
- Fishing. Most fish caught for human food live in the sea, the rest don’t.
- Sea Angling. They are sufficiently enthusiastic to participate in their sport at least once a week.
- Scouting. The practise of boy scouting has not expanded enormously.
- Surfing. If you see a man with calluses just below his knees and on his insteps, if his hair is encrusted with salt, being more like some aged doormat and if he looks out to sea in tight trunks then Eden will know that she has met a surfer.
- Golf. Not even Gladys knows why golf began.
- Cliffs and Caves. Many journeys have to begin by leaping from a dormobile.
- Personal Message to anyone reading this. If you know a peculiar person (or someone who is extreme in their typical ordinariness) who lives by the coast, we may be interested in meeting them. Please contact the Gallivant hotline on 0171 607 1705 (fax 0171 700 0209). We guarantee to be courteous in our approach and not to offer embarrassing bribes or inducements.
- This treatment would not have been possible without the inspiration of films like Sunless (Chris Marker), The Moon and the Sledgehammer (Philip Trevellyan), Sherman’s March (Ross McKelwee) as well as the 1970’s TV series Bird’s Eye View.
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The film-maker at the end of his tether